Well, it's been a very long time since I've written.
I got sucked into a very unhealthy relationship. That's really all there is to it. I gave up a lot of what was important to me, including this blog.
I was made to feel like a selfish person for stating my needs--big or small.
I was made to feel so selfish for claiming them, that I stopped claiming them, and I made myself smaller and smaller to try and fit into the relationship. Finally i was in a very small corner, couldn't breathe too well and i said "i think we should break up."
I don't want the subjects of my blogs to mainly be about relationships. Perhaps the fact that they usually were when I was in that relationship, was the sign of a bad relationship. I began the relationship with the mindset "relationships shouldn't involve any thinking" and then I learned "they will involve *some* thinking" and I ran with that.....until I realized, "this relationship is involving too much thinking."
So, turning a new leaf. Something I realized that is very, VERY, important to me (and I realized it because of the complete lack of it towards the end of my relationship) is...LAUGHTER. COMEDY. I don't laugh because I don't care. I laugh because it's something we always have. Regardless of the effects of an event, the implications, the mood etc... you can always squeeze some laughter out of it. Comedy is such a strong force. It's gotten me through this break up, and i think it's going to get me to and Through some of the most intense experiences of my life. For those of you who have been reading my blog, if You hear me getting a bit mopey, Call Me Out. If i'm not laughing, i'm not myself.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
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