Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Laxatives and Taxes

Do you ever feel that someone gets offended if you do not do things their way? As if, by doing it a different way, you are suggesting the way they go about it is wrong?

I struggle with this with my mother often. My mother is...fragile, for lack of a better word. She sees at least one doctor per week for a foot, stomach, back, head problem, or you name it. And it is an unspoken rule that she does not do anything for atleast 24 hours after a doctors appointment. Well, actually, it is a Spoken Rule. She comes straight home and, she has said this herself, "oh no, i dont do anything after i see a doctor," and she lays in her bed and asks not to be disturbed.
But, of course, she is disturbed. The pool cleaner shows up that day and asks if we want the pool heated yet, the receptionist calls from a doctor's office to confirm next week's appointment, I come in to tell her a package has arrived for her. You get it, the world goes on. And, inevitably, if the world goes on just a little too long--usually after 4 consecutive "world" happenings--too many phone calls, too many workers showing up at the house, my my mother begins to cry and she pleas, but yells "why can't everyone just leave me alone! I've been to the doctor today!" And then she shuts herself in her room.
These are just the facts. I am not stating my opinion on whether this is a good or bad way for her to go about things.

However, I am having a colonoscopy tomorrow. And you don't need to tell me I am too Damn young for such a thing! Boy, don't I know it. Don't I also know that I will never be able to show my face again to the actually quite dashing young pharmacist who had the honor of giving me the detailed instructions of my pre-operation "cleansing" if you will. I'll be drinking a jug of chemicals that will move a person in many ways if ya get my drift. Anyhow, Dr.Dashing got to give me the low down. And seemed to require I look him in the eye and nod after each direction. Okay, that's beside the point. I simply find a new pharmacy.

But I came home, I drank my delicious lunch of broth and jellow (they've got me on an all liquid diet pre-procedure) and my mother came to ask about the preparation. I told her all about it, and then began to repack my purse.
"Where--where are you going? Are you going somewhere?" My mother asked.
"Yes, i'm going to file my taxes," I answered. "It's the only day this week i'll get the chance to."

"After all this stuff today?" Her eyes were very wide, "And before this big procedure tomorrow."

"Well, yes. It's inconvenient but, the World doesn't stop just because I'm having this done tomorow."

This was when my mom stuttered, shook her head and folded her arms and said "I --I--I know the world doesn't stop! I, I know that, Okay?!" And left the room.

She will cry, and ask "why won't everyone just leave me alone?" But my words, under the same circumstances are "the world doesnt stop."

I didn't mean to push that bruise on her, you know? To tap that delicate, already tender spot on her. But, I wasn't going to do things her way so as to avoid offending her, I had to file my taxes, damnit. I had to keep up with the world.

Thank goodness Vodka fits the requirements of this clear liquid diet. Cheers!


  1. Oh,you poor thing!

    Best of luck!

  2. Sometimes my Mom acts the same way. It's always such a surprise to her that I will continue to keep moving on in the world before something big. I half-suspect she wishes I would just sit down and not move prior to doing something huge. Just wait and wait and wait. But I'm too restless and busy, it would never work for me.
    Thank you for the reminder, I have to file my taxes too :)