Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Yogurt Is Not Old Milk

I learned last night not to indulge in all my cheap college habits in the same night. Spread throughout the week has proven to be fine. But last night I learned not to, in one night:

1) Eat the piece of steak that fell off the nachos onto the bar where people were just doing body shots, just because you never have enough money to buy red meat at home and can't stand to watch the piece go uneaten. Let it rest in piece next to the nipple ring that fell off someone there too.

2) Do not drink the bathroom sink water because it is taking too long to get the bartenders attention to ask for a glass of water. The guy that left the bathroom before you Did just joke about peeing in the sink. He probably wasn't joking. He did wear cut-off sleeves and a trucker hat after all.

3) Do not use the milk that is now visually moving slowly, like yogurt, in it's container, with your cereal at 3 am when you get home from the bar and have the drunken munchies. It's not "just how yogurt is made anyways" as you always tell your roommates when they watch you in disgust.

4) And when you wake up to the feeling of an alien tearing out of your belly, like in that one scary movie where a woman gives birth to an alien, do not wonder what's going on. You know what's going on. You did this.


  1. My reaction from this post? Some "eww" moments (nipple ring cinched the deal for me) followed by mostly nods of understanding. When I've been drunk, my brain has rationed some pretty crazy stuff. So I get the yogurt as milk situation. Instead of looking at you with disgust, I would probably nod along with you and even try a bowl of cereal with yogurt.
    I also have an award for you on my blog!

  2. On purpose.

    Or so I usually tell myself.

    Great blog!

    Love your writing,


  3. I hope you are well. Miss you. Take care.

  4. My, it looks like you got yourself into a bit of trouble, along with a hangover. I don't eat much meat, especially red meat. It's been so long since I had red meat, that if I do take even a bite I feel sick to my stomach. I eat a lot of kidney, black beans, pinto, etc..etc..with rice dishes. I feel better when I don't eat meat.

    Hope you have recovered by the time you read this. I love yogurt, but not the "old expired milk" kind that you mentioned. Hey, how about trying that activia yogurt? It's good love it...:o)