I underwent a little interrogation by a friend the other day.
She was telling me about all of the events she and her boyfriend attend; piano concerts, book readings, art exhibits by artists they follow etc..
I nodded and said "mhmm. mhmm." But that's all i had. I didn't have similar stories to share and well... I didn't mind that.
But she did.
"Does your boyfriend...read?"
"novels?" I responded. "no."
"Oh. Well, what does he read?" She was trying to hide her disapproval.
"books on photography, and finance. he is a commercial photographer afterall."
"Oooh. Well that's good." She can't even look me in the eye at this point, but continues into her lap "I just...I couldn't date someone who wasn't a literary person or wasn't into music and just...the same things. I think it would just...it would just lead me to...to cheat on him! You know?"
No. I did not know, but I felt that she was trying to get some sort of confession from me that I had been tempted to cheat before, or atleast thought about it.
But I hadn't. And my guy is not a "literary person," and we don't attend piano concerts. We sit side by side and play the same cheezy Broadway ditties in the piano book he still has from childhood at his parent's home. We roll around on the floor with the dog. we sleep, we eat, we have sex. Sometimes we just lay together and say nothing. We've been doing this for four months.
"Does it bother you...that we don't do those things?" my guy asked when i reitterated my conversation with the friend.
"No!" I exclaimed. And I meant it.
But what do others think? Is it common interests that keep couples together? Or common traits? Or....common morals?
Either way. My friend and her "literary person" broke up. She cheated on him.
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Sounds like you have lots of common interests: rolling around on floor; having sex; sleeping.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what 'common morals' are?
Hmmm I think interests honestly do not mean much anymore. Sure, its good to have some in common, but I think its the moralities that really kick in. I mean, me and my man could totally be in love with watching anime, but if we didn't agree that cheating is wrong, then we'd have a problem. But if I liked anime, and he liked horror shows, but we both agreed that cheating is wrong, I would be happy even if he didn't like my type of TV show. You don't have to share everything with your partner. It's definitely best to have some interests in common, but all, it would then get quite boring =) I would definitely argue that a common morality and agreement on how people should act in certain situations definitely can determine if people are right for each other. And with your friend, I guess it shows that even interests can't stop a person from cheating if they don't have that common moral ground.
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