Well, it's been a very long time since I've written.
I got sucked into a very unhealthy relationship. That's really all there is to it. I gave up a lot of what was important to me, including this blog.
I was made to feel like a selfish person for stating my needs--big or small.
I was made to feel so selfish for claiming them, that I stopped claiming them, and I made myself smaller and smaller to try and fit into the relationship. Finally i was in a very small corner, couldn't breathe too well and i said "i think we should break up."
I don't want the subjects of my blogs to mainly be about relationships. Perhaps the fact that they usually were when I was in that relationship, was the sign of a bad relationship. I began the relationship with the mindset "relationships shouldn't involve any thinking" and then I learned "they will involve *some* thinking" and I ran with that.....until I realized, "this relationship is involving too much thinking."
So, turning a new leaf. Something I realized that is very, VERY, important to me (and I realized it because of the complete lack of it towards the end of my relationship) is...LAUGHTER. COMEDY. I don't laugh because I don't care. I laugh because it's something we always have. Regardless of the effects of an event, the implications, the mood etc... you can always squeeze some laughter out of it. Comedy is such a strong force. It's gotten me through this break up, and i think it's going to get me to and Through some of the most intense experiences of my life. For those of you who have been reading my blog, if You hear me getting a bit mopey, Call Me Out. If i'm not laughing, i'm not myself.
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Love! I'm so happy you're back to blogging again, I've missed you out here! I'm sorry to hear about the break up. If it's the guy I last remember hearing about it, it is DEFINITELY his loss. Because you are amazing beyond words. I'm really happy you're learning how to laugh again and I look forward to hearing from you and spending time together soon! Lots of love from the newly Calabasas girl, Heather :)
ReplyDeleteWelcome back! I have just given you an award on my blog.
ReplyDeleteWell, like you I "did it again" and broke up with him again...and this time I am really "done"...the selfishness in so many mean and lack of understanding for anyone but themselves I am so very very tired of..I or rather "we all" deserve better...and like I always say "I am better off alone, that way,I am not made to feel that I should not have feelings or every stand up for myself most of all if it's always "about him" time to let it go...
ReplyDeleteIt's an interesting little clue of "not putting up with being treated bad"..there seems to be more single women joining us...sad to say..but I feel happier now...selfish jerks will learn in the end..what goes around comes around..even if it takes a long time..it will.
Welcome back and I understand your comments about men quite well, though I am much older than you I have been divorced and single for almost 15 years now...so no matter the age if a man isn't going to love the "real you" and makes it only about him "stick a fork in it, he's done"...he he.
Love and Peace and lets stop the wars..I am dedicating my blog to those two things for a while...hope you'll drop by.
Rhi
P.S. sorry about my "dyslexic typos" above..I meant "it's an interesting little Club" of not putting up with being treated bad by a man"...many are joining these days...
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